Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
