fuck your aforementioned shoe
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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