what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
