now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My brain says no but my pants say off.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
