No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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