Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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