There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?