Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!