ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is