i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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