Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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