what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
