I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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