My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
