I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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