The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
