when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
