I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
