Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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