I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize