Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
