swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
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Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
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After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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