I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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