maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
