oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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