I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
