I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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