haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
