I puked a lego.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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