If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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