Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
