There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize