Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
