just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
