i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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