so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
