You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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