I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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