your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
