I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
