I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
