never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
