I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
