My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
