I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My vagina is very pro this idea
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
