how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
