So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
is it fun? or sober?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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