i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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