I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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