Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
