Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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