He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
