Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
