Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
