dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
