You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
