Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
