My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
