You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
