You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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