sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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