super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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